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[离任作者] 【美少妇妻子趁我出差跟老头偷情】

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2012-6-16 21:38  显示全部帖子
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厉害啊，人物刻画的入木三分，只是自己的对老婆出轨的思想写得有点少，不过也无伤大雅，还有就是H的少了一点，妻子的感受描写的还不够细腻，整篇文章用倒序手法写的，现在只有一章还不知道故事的主题脉络，期待作者继续写下去！
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